


My Heart Is Yours

by alexenglish



Series: Codas [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Background Malia/Stiles, Canon Compliant, FSA Week, Love Confessions, M/M, Polyamory, background Braeden/Derek, background Kira/Scott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4946014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexenglish/pseuds/alexenglish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s still raining, water pouring in cold sheets, soaking the earth. Everything smells fresh, sharp, new, in a way that makes Scott’s head clear. Derek’s getting out of the car, looking at Scott with soulful eyes, and Scott doesn’t think twice, just hurls himself at Derek and pulls him into a hug.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart Is Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Finally something new! This series is basically Alex inserts ships into canon and cries about it.
> 
> This installment directly follows the beginning of season 5, probably S2 or S3, before things really get heavy. You don't have to watch it to understand what's happening here. All canon relationships are still occurring and are all open relationships, so this is loosely polyamorous McCall pack, but you don't see the other characters.
> 
> Thanks to Kat for the beta <3

_So this is how it goes_  
_Well I, I would have never known_  
_And if it ends today_  
_Well I'll still say that you shine brighter than anyone_

 

 

Kira isn’t gone for more than 15 minutes before Scott gets a wave of incoming texts from Stiles.

_Derek’s back_

_Temporarily_

_He fucking kissed me. This is bullshit._

_He turned right out of the clinic and not left, he’s going towards the city. Maybe you can jump on his car and demand to know what the fuck he was thinking._

_I’m so PISSED SCOTT I AM ANGRY_

There’s more, phone vibrating in distress at him, but there’s already a car pulling up, and Scott knows it’s Derek, sensing him instantly. It’s like a prickling over his skin, a feeling sharper and more insistent than goosebumps. It makes his heart thrum with excitement, and Scott barely manages to pocket his phone before he’s out the door.

It’s still raining, water pouring in cold sheets, soaking the earth. Everything smells fresh, sharp, new, in a way that makes Scott’s head clear. Derek’s getting out of the car, looking at Scott with soulful eyes, and Scott doesn’t think twice, just hurls himself at Derek and pulls him into a hug.

The sound of Derek’s heartbeat is like a welcome home; any hesitation he would have felt previously dissolves completely as Derek’s arms come up to hold him just as tightly, crushing Scott in them. The bruising touch settles something in Scott, something primal he can’t identify.

It’s not often that Scott wants to howl with happiness, but feeling Derek, touching Derek, makes him want that. The water is soaking them both. Scott hears every raindrop, the different sounds as they land on Derek’s jacket versus his skin versus the top of the car, like music.

Scott presses a warm kiss to Derek’s neck, unable to help the swell of affection that races through him, needing an outlet for it.

“You’re here,” Scott says, unable to help the way he sounds breathless with excitement, hardly audible over his own heart pounding in his ears. Under it is the vibration of his phone, Stiles still bombarding him with texts and calls. Derek’s eyes glance at his pocket and back up, dragging his eyes back to Scott’s face, almost reluctantly.

“I didn’t want you to --” Derek shakes his head and exhales. “Did Stiles text you?”

Scott nods, head bobbing ridiculously, trying to ignore the way his chest clenches when Derek says Stiles’ name ( _He fucking kissed me_ ).

Scott remembers reading in a the SAT prep book that the difference between envy and jealousy is a matter of possession. Envy is when you desire something someone else possesses. Jealousy is when you’re afraid someone will take something you possess.

Scott knows that Stiles isn’t his and Derek isn’t his; just like he isn’t Stiles’ and Stiles has no claim on Derek, but he feels like that applies here. Both feelings, in equal measure. He doesn’t know if he’s scared that Derek will take Stiles from him or afraid that Stiles will take Derek from him, or both.

Probably both, if he had to sit down and think about it. It’s important that they’re both happy, but ever since they met Derek, Scott has had a distinct sense of _working together_. There’s a oneness with Derek that Scott has only ever felt with Stiles. It’s natural, like an extension of his relationship with Stiles. Scott can’t imagine being shut out of that.

“I wanted you to know that it’s not just him,” Derek says, low and soft, like Scott is a priest and Derek is making a confession ( _Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned_ ). Scott’s heart stops beating altogether. “I kissed him, but it’s not --”

Derek cuts himself off, looking frustrated. Scott knows it’s because he’s just staring at Derek with his mouth hanging open, but his brain isn’t processing anything.

“It’s not just him?” Scott asks, tentative, but unable to keep the hope out of his voice. That, that is everything he wants to hear, stepping closer to Derek. That makes Derek scoot back, maybe unconsciously, shifting away. Scott stops, hand coming up to touch Derek’s, testing the waters. “Do you want to kiss me, too?”

Derek’s head snaps up, and he looks Scott in the eyes, vulnerable and wrecked. Scott remembers the night at the high school when the kanima attacked Stiles and Derek. When they all stumbled into the parking lot, Stiles said the word “abomination” and Scott felt the whole world tilt on its axis and slot into place. The look Derek gave Stiles then was heartbreaking.

That’s when it clicked for Scott that there was something between Stiles and Derek that he didn’t get yet. It made him burn red-hot with jealousy, because Stiles was his and had always been his, but Scott understands now. Especially now that Derek is looking at Scott with the same broken vulnerability. It’s enough to make anyone fall in love.

But, Scott is already in love with Derek, genuinely, so all it does is loosen something in Scott’s chest, make him smile.

“Can I kiss you?” Scott asks, keeping eye contact. He wants to touch Derek, plant his face in Derek’s neck, wants to press their bodies together, to feel the hard heat of it all. The rain is still pounding, soaking them both.

“What?” Derek asks, incredulous. Scott swallows, heart pounding in ears with renewed force. He figured it Derek would say yes, not ask why.

“Can I --”

“I heard you -- you have a, Kira,” Derek says.

“Stiles has a Malia,” Scott says, unsure of where Derek is going with that argument.

“I didn’t mean to. I meant it, but I didn’t mean to, now.”

“It’s okay,” Scott says, knowing what he means. His first kiss with Stiles was similar. Summer and long stretches of sleepovers made Scott realize that he wanted Stiles in a way that wasn’t just a _friend thing_. The first time they kissed, Scott just sort of fell on him after they had an impressive wrestling match over the last few sour gummy worms. Stiles was pinned underneath him, trying to buck Scott off. Something just clicked between them, and they both just _went for it_.

“We share,” Scott says, meaning Kira and Malia and Stiles and whoever else decides to fall in with them along the way. “Kira knows.”

“What does Kira know?” Derek asks, eyes wide as saucers. His pulse jumps in his neck, thrumming. Scott can hear it in his head, amplified by the rain instead of dulled like it should be.

“How I feel about you,” Scott says, stepping forward. He’s usually not as hesitant as this, but something tells him that he needs to approach Derek with caution, especially with this.

“How do you feel about me?” Derek asks, and Scott can see him tense up instantly. Scott wants to put his hands on him, reassure him with touches, but he stays still, not wanting to spook Derek.

“I care about you,” Scott says. It’s more than that. It’s a feeling of protectiveness as well. When he takes a step back from everything, he can see the slow build of their relationship, the way they worked up to where they are now.

It’s no secret that they struggled to get this far, but maybe that’s why it’s so important to Scott; because they worked so hard for it. All of the missteps and distrust is worth it now, having Derek stare at him like this. His face is so openly vulnerable it makes Scott ache deep in his chest.

It wasn’t too long ago that Derek was so carefully guarded, cold expression a barrier between him and the rest of the world. When his words were more harsh than helpful, when he lied and manipulated to get his way, even when he didn’t have to. They’ve both made mistakes, struggled with their decisions since meeting each other, but they’ve intersected along the way. They came from places of such opposition and met in the middle, continued on the same path together.

Maybe that’s why he feels a slight bitter twang when he thinks of Derek leaving. He had always hoped they would be in this together in the end. After their uphill battle learning to trust each other, he hoped they would reach a mutual understanding. When Derek decided to leave, they just _weren’t_ anymore, and that hurt.

“I want to protect you,” Scott admits, wetting his lips, tasting the rain. It falls down his face, cold and refreshing. Derek blinks at him, hair flat against his head. Scott smiles at Derek, cocks his head like he’s considering.

“I love you,” Scott finally says, after a moment. Derek recoils, like Scott smacked him, and it’s enough for Scott’s heart to jump in his chest from uncertainty. “I don’t mean to startle you, but it’s true. I’ve been in love with you, for a while.”

It started after the incident with Gerard, after Scott was forced to hold Derek’s head up, forced to bite Gerard with him. Even now, when he thinks about it, his body goes heavy with sickness, his head swims with guilt. Scott’s spent long nights analyzing what happened, wondering if there was a different solution that he didn’t see.

Every time he comes to the same conclusion; he didn’t have a _choice_ , but it doesn’t change the fact that it should have been different. Scott should have been better, his actions weren’t _good_ enough.

In order to forget about what had transpired, Scott dove head first into summer school and picked up extra hours at the clinic. He could feel the change in the air when Stiles brought up Derek, even in passing. It was tight, like a rubber band, and Stiles noticed immediately.

After that, it was only a matter of time before Stiles forced Scott to go to the Hale house, forced them to talk. It took entirely too many false starts and half-aborted arguments, but they struggled through it, reached a tentative agreement towards allyship.

There was something different about Derek then, too. Scott likes to think of it as the beginning of The Change. Derek’s major attitude shifted from callous and self-serving, to someone who cares and protects. Someone who’s a hero, as opposed to someone who’s desperate to survive at all costs. Whatever happened in Derek’s own head after the kanima and Gerard, he was humbled. It made things easier, and it made Scott see Derek differently.

Made him see Derek in a terrifyingly _new_ way. Stiles saw it immediately, teasing Scott relentlessly until Scott admitted that _maybe_ he was soft on Derek. The teasing turn into Serious Discussion and relationship negotiation. They had carved out room for Allison, and there was always potential for Lydia, but Lydia hadn’t wanted to be a part of _them_ like that, so they let it go. They decided there was room for Derek, _if_ they ever wanted it to happen, if they ever got to a place where either of them - where all three of them - were healthy and whole enough to approach that kind of relationship.

Scott was excited, anticipating Derek’s healing process even before he saw it. Especially after Derek gave up his alpha powers to save Cora, it was like all the tumblers fell into place. That was when Scott could see Derek start to _let_ himself heal. Scott decided that when Derek came back, he would try for _something_ , anything. Maybe not a relationship, because they were young, and Derek had boundaries, but Scott wanted them all to end up there eventually.

Of course, it didn’t work out because everything dissolved into chaos once again when the nogitsune took over Stiles’ body. Then, there was Kira, and he carved out a place for her next to Stiles and next to Allison, and left the partially made space for Derek until later.

The hole in his heart only got bigger when Allison died, and he was left with a gaping wound in his chest that left him emotionally compromised. Not to mention, Derek disappeared, and Scott was tired and worn down and stretched thin.

He was genuinely happy when Derek and Braeden got together because Derek was smiling and happy, even as the fear that he would actually die increased. The thought haunted Scott, gripped him tight, made it so that he couldn’t breathe, and he didn’t know what to _do_.

Worst of all, Derek wanted to leave, told them he was leaving. Scott stopped thinking, and Stiles started yelling. All of his plans for them were crumbling; the worst part was that Scott never knew if they even had a chance, because as much as he was already in love with Derek, Derek never told them anything.

Now Derek is here and he might not be coming back, and Scott can’t help it. The words tumble past his lips without regret. It’s a relief, honestly, even if Derek looks shaken beyond belief. It doesn’t last long, because then they’re touching. Scott doesn’t know who’s pulling who in, but their foreheads press together.

When they breathe each other in, Scott feels the knot of tension in his chest release for the first time in _months_. When they kiss, it’s sweet and slow and hesitant. It feels good, warms Scott to his toes, makes him want to howl. Derek kisses him hard, clenches him tighter, and Scott can’t do anything except follow along helplessly. He doesn’t want to stop kissing Derek, ever.

Eventually they do, gasping through the cold rain. Scott blinks it out of his eyes and finds Derek staring at him with a calculating expression.

“I love you, too,” he says, finally. Relief spirals through Scott, dizzying. “I didn’t tell Stiles, but I -- Both of you. It doesn’t make sense, but I do.”

“You should have told him,” Scott says.

“I can’t tell him until I come back,” Derek says, with a gentle nod of his head, like he’s agreeing with himself. Scott finds it endearing, presses a kiss to Derek’s jaw for it. “He wouldn’t want to hear it just to have me leave again.”

Stiles wouldn’t, Scott knows. As much as all three of them have the same feelings for each other, Stiles can’t feel the way the pieces fit together; he needs to be presented with visual proof. If Derek tells him that and then leaves, Stiles will think he’s being disingenuous, and that’s the last thing that any of them want.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Scott says, heart thudding in his ears. His stomach curdles hearing that Derek is going to leave again, but he knows that it’s for the best. As angry as he was when Derek left, especially with _how_ he left, Scott can’t fault him for it.

The summer has been a healing experience for everyone, since there hasn’t been a real threat. Now, he feels that familiar uncertainty sinking into him as his brain for prepares for an enemy he can’t anticipate, and he knows he would feel better if Derek was here, anchoring him. Anchoring Stiles. Anchoring them together, keeping them stable.

The way the conversation about Theo escalated worries Scott, but he tries to keep the faith.

He has to.

“I’m glad you’re getting better,” Scott says, hand swiping over Derek’s mouth, warming with the knowledge that he _kissed_ that mouth and that mouth kissed him _back_. “I’m glad that you’re happy. I want you to be healthy. Come back when you can, or don’t. We’ll understand.”

“I --” Derek sighs, and nuzzles into Scott’s hand. Butterflies flutter in Scott’s stomach, and oh god, he is so in love. “Beacon Hills is home. _You guys_ are home. I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Then, I’ll hold you to that,” Scott says, agreeing easily, letting the feeling of hope overwhelm him with happiness as they kiss again. It’s a goodbye, this time, a slow stroking kiss that melts Scott to his bones.

They don’t actually say goodbye. Derek seems to realize that Scott refuses to say it. He hates the word. Goodbyes are heavy with finality, and they make Scott feel weighed down with dread. They don’t say it, just break apart slowly. Scott pushes Derek towards his car and walks towards his own porch. They keep watching each other until Derek sinks into the front seat and drives away.

 

 

 

Scott feels Stiles before he hears the rattle of the Jeep. It’s this sense of awareness, prickling at the back of Scott’s mind. It happens when any pack member feels particularly strong emotions, but Scott doesn’t know if that’s the extent of it, where it came from, or if he can control it. Regardless, the feeling is telling him that Stiles is upset. It’s bitter, like rage, but there’s an underlying sadness to it that makes Scott ache at his very core.

Stiles is soaked when he comes into the room, stripping his clothes and throwing them into Scott’s bathtub. He grabs briefs from Scott’s drawer and pulls them on, not bothering with anything else as he stands there, panting a little.

He smells anxious and sad and Scott can hear his heart thundering under his ribs. Scott’s dry and warm now; it’s been a decent amount of time since Derek left. It’s not a far drive from the clinic to Scott’s house, and Stiles could have interrupted them at any time, so Scott assumes he drove around to let off some steam.

Scott feels the weight of Stiles’ gaze as he drags it over Scott, sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, hair not-quite air dried. Stiles’ tongue darts out to wet his lips before he frowns, and drops on the bed, crawling closer until he’s over Scott.

When he kisses Scott, it’s long and slow and deep, but Scott can taste the desperation and anxiety on his tongue. He doesn’t know why it tastes like fear.

“Did he come by?” Stiles asks when they break apart to breathe each other in. Scott skates his hands up Stiles’ arms, touches his neck and his face. It makes Stiles smell less like anxiety and more like Scott, so it’s one of Scott’s favorite things to do. One time Stiles told him that he was _scent marking_ , and Scott fell out of his chair laughing.

“Yeah,” Scott admits, unwilling to lie to Stiles.

“What did he say?” Stiles says, then blinks and shakes his head, falling back a little so that he can sit. He’s still curled over Scott, but there’s space between them now. “No, wait, don’t tell me. Wait, did he kiss you too?”

“I, uh, yeah,” Scott says, and Stiles rolls his eyes, but leans in to drag his nose over Scott’s jaw and bite over the place where Scott’s mole is.

“Good. I don’t want him to kiss me if he doesn’t want to kiss you.”

“Why not?” Scott asks, unable to stop from laughing.

“Because the reason why we worked well together is because we _all_ work well together,” Stiles says, eyes fluttering shut. He leans his forehead against Scott’s again, like he can’t help himself. “If it was just us, we would murder each other.”

“I could still referee,” Scott says, nuzzling Stiles’ back. It’s more of a hard press of their heads, but it’s working for them.

“That would be incredibly unfair,” Stiles says softly, but he doesn’t deny the possibility. Scott knows that a deep part of Stiles would still want Derek, even if Derek didn’t want Scott. All of that attraction is already so ingrained in the both of them, it’s hard to get away from.

“Why?”

“Because you always get that dopey cute look on your face when you talk about him,” Stiles says, pressing a kiss to the apple of Scott’s cheek before drawing away and lying down next to him. Scott turns to face him, tangling their feet together. “It would be unfair to make that a sad look.”

“You’re so considerate,” Scott says, half-teasing, half-not.

“I try my best.”

They lay there, looking at each other for awhile. Everything feels different, heavier. Not because of Derek. Well, not _just_ because of Derek. It feels like everything is shifting, like they’re waiting for a significant change. Scott thinks about Theo, and Stiles’ reaction to Theo, Derek’s unexpected arrival, and Stiles’ reaction. Angry, at first, then resigned and sad. Scott wants to take it all away, all the doubt and insecurity that’s been in place since the pack started looking at colleges.

He wants to make it better for Stiles, but he doesn’t know if he can. Now, there are too many variables, so many more than there were just a few days ago.

“I jinxed it,” Scott says, voice low. He’s the one who said that it’s been peaceful, so something was bound to happen. It’s common knowledge that _something_ will happen in Beacon Hills, sooner rather than later, but Scott is the one that said it out loud.

“You didn’t,” Stiles says, and Scott is thankful for the way Stiles can read him so well, he doesn’t have to voice his thoughts outloud. “It’s Beacon Hills, something’s bound to happen. At least we have each other.”

“Yeah,” Scott says, scooting in closer so that their knees slide together, so that their hips bump. He drags Stiles in for a hard hug, lips ghosting over the naked skin of his shoulder. “We’ll always have each other.”

Nothing can tear them apart.

**Author's Note:**

> queerlyalex on Tumblr<3


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